Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
