You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
