My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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