4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
