i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
