Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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