so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
