You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
