i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
