Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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