Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I've blown a few things in my day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
