yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
