My entire life is one complicated drinking game
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
