my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
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