I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
