when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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