bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
