Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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