Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
