he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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