I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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