Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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