just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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