She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
