Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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