it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize