so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
