i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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