I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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