Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
