just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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