I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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