I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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