Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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