Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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