i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
