can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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