I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
