just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
