It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
