Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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