Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
