He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
