Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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