I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
