that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
