I wish I could punch you in the face.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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