Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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