My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
