You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
