I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Houston, we have a blender
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
