Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
