You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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