So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
