Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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