while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
