Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
